On Tuesday, I stepped inside of a hospital for the first time since my little sister, Rebecca’s accident.
It never occurred to me, that this would be “A Thing.” I actually didn’t even realize that I hadn’t been inside of one since the beginning of 2013. Mikey and I were simply going to visit someone who had just gone through a fairly standard surgery, and I thought nothing of it. And then we walked in.
We went in through the Emergency Room entrance, because it was closest, and right as we were passing through the sliding doors I felt my heart flutter. Oh crap, will there be families in here bawling their eyes out? Has someone they love gone through something horrible?! Nope. It was calm. I saw maybe one woman sitting in a chair, perfectly fine. Oh. Good.
We got in the elevator. When the doors opened, we were on a floor full of patient rooms. Nurses were all around, there were carts with IVs and heart rate monitors in the hallway. Suddenly, I started to panic. Everything felt like was going so fast. I don’t think I was even blinking. I thought my heart might beat out of my chest. Why can’t I catch my breath? We were about to walk into the room when I turned to Mikey… “I’m kind of freaking out…” And then the tears came. And I was crying and I didn’t know why. I mean, I knew why, but why now? Why here—3000 miles away?
And suddenly I felt really silly, because I didn’t know this was going to happen, and I wasn’t prepared for it. I tried to wipe away my tears and put on a smile. We stayed for what felt like an eternity. Every tiny thing brought back memories I try not to recall… the EKG, the circulation boots, the gait belt, the small alcove in the room, even the frickin’ white board… I clenched my hands in my pockets so hard they were hurting. What the hell is wrong with me? I kept thinking.
When we left, the cold outside air could not have felt better on my face. I felt relieved, and suddenly like everything was okay. And I felt stupid for freaking out so much.
And that’s my little story that I felt like I had to tell. It feels good to write it down, so thanks for bearing with my craziness, haha! Oh and coincidently her birthday was yesterday! So Happy Birthday week, sis! Glad I get to say that you
Let’s talk about muffins! I made these two different ways, but the both include: greek yogurt, egg whites, blueberries, and cinnamon.
One is a whole-grain, refined sugar-free version that uses maple syrup, whole wheat flour, flax, and includes apricots:
And the other is a more traditional, all-purpose flour and granulated sugar muffin that only has blueberries in it:
The latter are fluffier, but I kinda like the flavor and texture of the whole grain ones better. But, both are delicious, and both are under 100 calories each
You could switch the blueberries and apricots for any frozen fruit (blackberries or strawberries would be delish!), or even some chocolate chips (OMG choco chips + raspberries! YES!). These aren’t overly sweet, so they make a perfect breakfast or snack.
Yield: Each batch will yield ~2 dozen*
dry ingredients:
wet ingredients:
dry ingredients:
wet ingredients:
*my batches made exactly 23 standard muffins